After 20 or more years, it’s natural to think married couples would have long since settled into a comfortable way of life, but as people grow and change, any number of factors could contribute to a union that no longer works, resulting in a mid-life, or gray, divorce.
Over the last three decades, gray divorce has become the fastest-growing category of married couples deciding to split. Divorce is never easy in and of itself, but a gray divorce means splitting after decades spent sharing a home, raising children, and experiencing all the joys and struggles of life as the years go by.
Nevertheless, it’s not unusual for one or both people in a marriage to realize they’ve grown apart and are ready to seek happiness and fulfillment elsewhere. When children have left the nest, it is love, shared interests, companionship, and trust that sustain a strong marriage, but they may not be enough to combat certain challenges.
With that in mind, below are some of the primary reasons couples seek divorce after two or more decades of marriage:
Infidelity
One of the most common reasons long-term relationships end is infidelity, or in some cases, another form of betrayal. Trust is an important aspect of maintaining a romantic relationship, and once it is broken, it may be impossible to repair.
It may not take long for new couples to realize they’re incompatible. For long-term marriages that get past that initial hurdle, however, the bar for divorce tends to be higher.
Lack of Intimacy
Romance and companionship are two important factors that bring couples together and keep them connected. When these relationship aspects fade, it can be hard to find reasons to stay in a marriage.
Lack of intimacy may be the result of focusing on jobs and kids, dealing with ongoing stress or health issues, or simply drifting apart. Bigger problems like trauma, rejection, and infidelity could also play a role in intimacy issues.
Financial Issues
Financial stability may not be the most critical aspect of a marriage, but it certainly contributes to a functional household. Financial stress can place a major strain on a relationship, especially if partners aren’t on the same page where spending and saving are concerned or if one spouse’s spending places the household in financial jeopardy.
Poor Communication
It’s common for couples to have different communication styles. Some people are very open and assertive, while others may use a passive approach. The problem is that the latter can leave a partner with little information, and the former can make the other partner feel unheard or intimidated.
Overcoming poor communication requires couples to recognize the problem and seek help. Unfortunately for some couples, that help comes too late, or not at all.
Addiction Or Abuse
Some of the most serious setbacks in a marriage come from issues like addiction or domestic violence. Addiction to alcohol, drugs, or gambling is all-consuming, leaving no room for the relationship to survive, much less thrive. Without help, substance misuse will destroy a marriage.
The same goes for abuse. When a significant power imbalance exists in a relationship, especially when one person is controlling the other through physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, or other types of abuse, the victim must leave the situation and seek safety before considering their next steps.
Female Independence
One growing reason for divorce in long-term relationships is autonomy. Many modern women work and can support themselves, which means they’re not as dependent on a husband for survival and have more choices than women in past generations.
Is It Time To Consider Divorce?
Whether you’ve spent time trying to fix your relationship and it’s not working out, or you’ve grown apart and are ready to start a new chapter, you may need help navigating the divorce process. An experienced attorney can help you get the ball rolling.
Contact an Experienced Monmouth County Divorce Attorney at The Law Office of Jennifer J. McCaskill, LLC for Legal Advice
To learn more and get the help you deserve, call our divorce & family law firm in Red Bank. NJ at (732) 747-1882 or contact us online today.
You can also visit our law firm at 157 Broad St #111, Red Bank, NJ 07701.
